In less than a week, I begin a summer of language study in Italy. I will spend two months (possibly three) in a beautiful foreign country. I will travel to Rome, Venice, and Milan; I will see Luciano Pavarotti on stage, visit the Armani outlet, and take in some of the most amazing art and architecture on the planet. I will encounter a culture I have never experienced, meet new people, and with any luck make some friends along the way. I will try new food and drink too much wine. I will swim in the velvety blue waters of the Mediterranean Sea, bask in the glory of an Adriatic sunrise, and gaze out across fields of juicy grapes waiting to be plucked from their woody vines. I will learn to speak Italian, but I think I will gain more than all of that experience offers.

When I was almost twenty, I had a baby and got married. When I was thirty, I separated from my husband and moved out of state to find myself. I remember a couple of years ago wondering what I would do at forty; what turn of events would I find to drastically change my life at the next decade marker? When I began college last year, I thought that was the event. I believe now that something bigger waited for me. At present, I face what appears to be a preponderant phenomenon. By myself, I will go to a foreign country—a country full of people I do not know whose language I do not speak. Alone.

Next week I embark on a new adventure full of interesting happenings. What began as an excursion to learn a new language has become a journey through my own psyche as I struggle with my fears. I will learn Italian, but I have accepted that this expedition may not be what it originally seemed. Perhaps, once again, I go in search of myself; just this moment, that is how it feels. If that is the case, I take heart… this gets easier as I get older. It gets easier, or perhaps the paths through my pneuma are more familiar. Maybe there is less undiscovered country within my spirit, or maybe I am just more at ease with my essential nature. A week ago, the slightest excuse could have turned me back. Today I beam at the possibilities as I realize how much I have gained through other life altering experiences—especially the difficult ones. I will confront my anxiety, and I will go. I will find whatever the universe has to show me on this fascinating sojourn. I will face my fears and on the other side, I will emerge better for it.